3 Secrets for the Most Successful Year EVER!

Every year I set myself a new set of goals.  They’ve become family-focused as opposed to just me-focused in the last 7 years.  And I’ve noticed that certain types of goal-setting works better than others.  Here are my 3 Secrets to achieving more than you ever imagined possible in 2009.

1.  Set goals that stretch who you think you can be

• Allow yourself to dream about what perfect would look like.
• Then break that down into monthly and weekly action points.
• Keep a daily ‘success diary’ of every piece of that dream you’re achieving.  I absolutely see you thriving!!

2.  Hold yourself accountable to someone who believes in you (friend, family, coach or mentor)

• There’s power in partnership.  So make an arrangement with at least one other person to keep you progressing towards your dreams.  OR join a mastermind group (maybe the Silver Success Circle if it fits for you at our launch).
• Set realistic daily and weekly goals so that you can achieve and be constantly encouraged.
• Have your mentor challenge you when you delay and encourage you when you’re victorious.

3.  Evolve your environment

• If your physical surroundings don’t support who you aim to be … make a list of the ‘old me’ things, then commit to change them one by one.  It could be simple things like nicer cutlery, rugs or bed linen OR a commitment to beautifying generally like ensuring there are fresh flowers in your sitting room every week.
• Sometimes progress requires that we assess our emotional surroundings.  Each of us takes on the values of the 5 people we spend the most time around.  Assess who those people are for you, and if their lives are ones you aspire to.  If not, begin to network in different places until you have frequent exposure to those that inspire you to progress.  (Again, the Silver Success Circle will supply much of this for you – we’ll have you reaching for the stars!!)
• Become aware of your spiritual environment.  When I say this I mean that we take on limiting thoughts from childhood that continue to fill our minds as adults.  Three books I highly recommend to get you to a sky’s-the-limit mindset are:

• As a Man Thinketh – James Allen (It’s short – I’m a slow reader and completed this in about 4 hours)
• A Return to Love – Marianne Williamson (I adore this book!)
• A New Earth – Eckhart Tolle (Tip: if you’re stuck for time start with the last chapter!!)

7 Smart Tips for Single Parenting Holiday Success

1. Get clear about what makes the holidays valuable: Make time to share what you remember about what made this season valuable for you in your childhood and ensure that your children know that quality (time, relationships, and values are) as opposed to having quantity of these things.
2. Prepare and plan: Who are you going to send cards and gifts to? With more thought there can be more meaning – and if you’re really smart this can bring the price tag down too.
3. Create a good holiday ambiance at home: Take some time to make paper chains, cards, decorations for the tree, cinnamon-smelling fruits (if that’s your thing!). Make it a special time for you and your children to share. Again, these memories will last for your children and have benefits way beyond and a Nintendo.
4. Have open negotiations with your children’s other parent about what’s the best design for the holidays: Get the children involved if they’re old enough and try to come to an agreement ahead of time. Where your children are younger, both parents would be smart to have a united message about what’s best for ‘sharing’ holidays.
5. If you want to have company over the holidays, get together with friends or with other single parents (or with church if that’s your thing): It might not be what you’ve traditionally done, but there’s no right or wrong way to do holiday itself. Get creative!
6. Make an occasion of the simple things: Relax in the afternoon with a great family movie and a glass of wine. Celebrate every moment.
7. Congratulate yourself as an amazing parent: Get your nails done, your hair done, have a massage or a bit of pampering. Whatever it is – while you treat yourself remind yourself that you’ve been outstanding this year and your children are blessed to have you on their side.

Learning from other single parents

This week I’ve been exposed to such an extraordinary array of different single parenting scenarios and it’s really got me thinking. As single parent families we have some similarities. However each of us is unique; with unique stories, children, ex’s, expectations for the future and challenges to overcome.

So when I find it difficult to share my daughter every second weekend with her dad, I’m now contrasting that with the situation my amazing single parent friend with 3 boys is in. His wife died 18 months ago and his challenge is one of never having a weekend off. Even if there was a capable friend to help, his youngest is still under 2 years old. So it’s a big responsibility for a carer, not to mention the separation anxiety of the parent. Sharing versus Support.

And when I’m struggling to fit in work, childcare, fitness and finances and get somewhat miffed that my ex has such limited responsibility for our daughter, I’m now contrasting my situation with that of an amazing single mum I met this week. Her ex husband won’t allow her to go abroad on holiday with their son without his prior permission (on threat of court proceedings). Responsibility versus Restriction.

I also contrast my own 6-year single parenting experience to that of my expert friend Cherie who’s been thriving single-handedly with her 3 children for over 20 years. What a lot I know, but speaking to her … what a lot there is still out to there to learn.

I guess we’re all just somewhere along the road of our unique journey. My experience is to observe and listen to those on a similar journey whilst reminding myself that there’s no right or wrong way to do this. We’ve got to acknowledge our own style, our own aspirations, our children’s characters, our ex’s involvement (or not), our resourcefulness, our creativity, our positivity and our unique talent to influence the future to be anything we want it to be.

I know that Christmas is coming up for a lot of parents. Personally I’m still in denial that it’s come round so fast, so I’m going to leave discussing it ‘til next time we talk!

Please keep emailing me your parenting tips – short or long, I absolutely love them!